Can't fall asleep in the middle of the night so I hope with the help of blogging can make me fall asleep faster. Feeling hungry right now but I don't think will find something to eat late at night. Got plenty of pictures to be uploaded but I am so lazy to use the photobucket so I shall upload it when I really have the time to do so.

Another year end and it was the last day of the year 2009 right now. Any vision for the coming year? Any guidance to my future? Will start my master degree programme soon and seems like 2010 is going to be a very busy year for me as I have to work and study at the same time.

My recent life is so sucks as a lot of unhappy things happening to me and around me. Everytime I wanna solve it but seem things are getting even worst. The higher you are, the lesser friends you gonna have. The more you wanna control, the more you won't be able to let go. Sometimes people are not satisfied with the authority they have, they are asking for more and crossing the border line.

Dear all, don't try to mess up with me. You will gonna get it from me. By hook or by crook I will make sure you get the same thing as I get.

I am always trying my best to help things out. But do people really appreciate what I have done? Or I am actually making things getting worst?

I always tell myself to stay strong when facing with any obstacles. But it is really not easy.

When you lost something that you are having and holding it for quite some time, you will feel uneasy. Even a small thing like pen or doll that you already have some kind of feelings on it, you will feel so hard to let go.

Remember once I lost my pencil case that have been with me for many years, I cried.
Another incident was my mum urge me to throw away the 'pillow' that I have been hugging for years, I cried.

What if some day someone I love leaving me, should I be crying too?

I know this post is in a mess. I myself is in a real mess right now =(

Seems like I am neglecting my pity little bloggie. Here I am to accompany him since I have not been updating recently.

My work was so so and I begin to feel that it is not easy to enter retailing industry. You may have to sacrifice all your public holiday and stay in your workplace. Perhaps this will be a good stepping stone for me as well.

Life is just complicated sometimes. There are some unpredictable things happening but you couldn't even know how to solve it. Some choose to pretend don't know and some choose to stay away from the unsolved problems. Some even make a tough decision to let go. Which will be the correct path to be taken? Letting go? But if letting go could you make it?

Someone told me to just pretend don't know and the problem will solve by itself but I don' think is a good solution as I am the one who like to thinks alot. When I know I have the responsibility, by hook or by crook I wanna figure out a solution for it. My solution may not be a good one or may make things even worse but at least I tried to solve.

Shall call it off today.

Having complicated feelings now. Everything seems not to be in the ordinary order. Maybe this is really not a good year for me. Things are just not going smoothly.

I feel like letting go whatever I am having now.
I feel like starting a brand new life of myself.
I feel like living in my own world.
I just don't like the way I am now. Having to worry and take all the burden of nowhere.
I just want a simple life with simple mind and simple people around me.
I want to care only the people who care me.
I don't want to be rich but I need someone to support me both physically and mentally.
I don't want to contribute more than others.

Maybe I shall really let it go....... I know I can handle it all by myself.

Feel like blogging whenever I am extremely happy or sad or angry. Have my off day today. Again I went out with my mum. Another month passed by and I received my second month salary. Stepping into the third month I know that challenges are awaiting me. I am 75% adapted to my working environment and another 25% will be some uncertainties.

Sometimes the more you appreciate the more hard you gonna let go. The more you care you are the more suffer you are when you lose it. You may want to have 100% of it and yet you can only get maybe 50% of it. I know I am crapping. Even myself don't know what I am writing.

Shall end my blog here. I am in a kind of feelings that I couldn't explain. Maybe I shall work and work an work to forget all these things.

Wondering how long could I stand working in such a stressful environment. Once wrong doesn't mean I am always wrong right? People do have mistakes right?

Blogging is really a good place for you to express your feelings. After blogging it out, it will really make you feel better. I couldn't write a fantastic blog like others do. I may have grammatical errors here and there. But I will still continue to write and trying to improve myself.

Really face a lot of different troubles at my working place right now. Hope that I can really stand and stay strong =) Will try my very best!

So stress up with my current work. Heavy workload and heavy responsibilities as well. Seriously it is really not easy to survive in this company. You have to be really tough.

Every beginning of the month I will start shivering because I will start to worry that I key-ed in the wrong figure for their overtime and they will come and complain.

And when people know that you are a freshie, they will start to take advantage on you. They will assume you don't know everything. One of them said this to me, ' you are still a small kids you won't know anything. Don't try to act smart in front of me. Ever since you came you are making a lot of troubles' -.-

Ya, i may be new but certain rules and regulations I do know. And I am not making troubles but to solve up all the leftover troubles by the previous person okay? All the while they are guided with the wrong instructions and regulations. I am just the one who follow up all the undone task and yet I am the one who kena scolded?

If one day I really leaving this company I will really make sure I hand over all my things properly to my colleagues. It is really hard to settle with all the undone task where you actually do not have clues where you should start with.

Maybe I shall not complain. Everyone will face difficulties in their work too. Anyway after blogging and expressing I do feel better. Thanks to all who supports me as I grow. I will stay strong and try my best to cope up with whatever problems that I am facing right now.